I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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