and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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