Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
