I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
