And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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