i think my tv is drunk
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
