I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
