he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
