capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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