i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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