I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
