Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
