Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
