Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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