i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
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