alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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