I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
i think im in europe. pls send help
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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