That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Randomize
