no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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