the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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