8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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