Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
i now understand why vodka
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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