Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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