Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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