then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
