It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Randomize
