Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
