Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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