you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
