Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
