idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
