I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
