True but thats because hes a fetus.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Randomize
