Please, let me fuck your mom
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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