We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
