IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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