They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
