I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Life is so much better after having sex.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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