I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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