I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
The Olympian is in my bed
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
