i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
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She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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