Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
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