DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
