so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
