Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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