Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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