I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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