And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
