ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
