I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
