We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You were trust falling into bushes
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
