margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
