i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
