I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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