She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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