just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
