a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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