He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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