I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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