I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
