you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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